Hospital wears you out!

Tuesday 1st November

Well another new month… Aaron went to the hospital yesterday and he was booked in for “fast track”… which we really knew nothing about… all it is; is that he can get his bloods taken in “Day Care” and then he goes in the waiting area to see a Dr to report on his ‘progress’… Only we were a little confused by it all and called in the morning to see if we had to go to “Day Care” or down to the pathology to have his blood taken for all the tests they have to do…. And we were told that we had to go to pathology… so we arrived there at 8.30am one hour before his first appointment… and waited about an hour to get his blood taken then we went upstairs to wait over 2 and ½ hours to see the Dr… Both Aaron and I were waisted… We found out that his haemoglobin had come down a little since last Thursday and his platelets were 34… which is good for someone that had >10 for 4 days running… mind you they should be a little higher as he did have 3 platelet transfusions (each 4 unit bags) before he came home… we went to day care to get Aarons dressing on his pick line changed…. And they informed us that what we had been told was wrong… that next time we are booked in for fast track we do not have to go to pathology to have bloods taken that they do it there and they change his dressings and flush the lines at the same time… ah the things you learn when you actually talk to the right people!!! When the nurse took off Aarons old dressing you could see that it must have taken off a layer of his skin too… as it was red raw… he had been complaining that it felt itchy for at least 5 or 6 days now… The nurse said that some people have reactions to that type of dressing…. Then she had to clean the area with alcohol… boy did that make Aaron jump!!! It really must have burned because his arm just about flung across the room!!! Now we know for next time he needs to not get the orange dressing… we finished all this at 12.45pm… so we went to the cafeteria to have some lunch as Aaron had to go to another appointment by 2pm, in infectious diseases to have the nebulised treatment for a resistance to germs and colds etc… I left him there and went to pick up Izra from Jackie’s and then to get Ethan from school… then back to the hospital to pick up Aaron… by 3.45pm….

We got home and we were both worn out!!! Aaron and I had to have a lie down… it had suddenly hit me that I really didn’t feel well either… I had a huge head ache and the little tickle in my throat that I had felt in the morning was now a raw feeling… also I had a huge pain in the side of my neck and when I rubbed it I discovered that I had a swollen gland!!! So I made up the spare bed and shut myself away there…. I called the after hours Dr and waited for them… I also sent a text message (against Aarons protesting) to Lisa to see if she could give Aaron a hand with putting the kids to bed… I had managed to put on some crumbed veal and chips for dinner… not really healthy but it will fill a hole… I was a bit… well no actually a lot worried about passing on my germs to Aaron… and still am!!! The Dr came and I have infected sinuses and thickness in my left ear… and a swollen gland in my neck on the left side… so he has given me a course of antibiotics (duo fort) to settle it down… I’m really glad that Lisa was here as she was able to go out and get the medication right away… I was not in any condition to be driving the car!!! The boys and I went to bed went the Dr left at 6.45pm…

Today Aaron had a sore stomach and chest and his left ear was hurting… I’m so worried that I will infect him… His temperature has been fine today… so it’s not an infection …yet… we hope… everywhere we go we have a can of “Glen 20” to spray where hands might have spread germs… the boys are liking being able to spray stuff without getting in trouble for going overboard… we figure it’s better to go overboard than not do it at all…. Both Aaron and I slept today till almost lunch time in hope that we would recover sooner… me in the spare room and him in our room…

He had a bath today but we think the hot water is not good for him… as he was quite dizzy!!! He wouldn’t call me to help him as I am sick too and he doesn’t want to be a burden… What to do with two stubborn mules???? I have had a scarf around my nose and mouth for most of the day so I don’t breathe any germs on him… as we watched a movie this afternoon and I had to go into the bed room to type up this journal thing….

I thought today that if I prepare food with the scarf on and rubber gloves I should be able to avoid transferring germs to his food…. So I will try that tomorrow… fingers crossed… Hope it does work… Don’t like to see him sicker than he already is… And besides the whole hospital thing is over rated!!! The travelling time the parking and money that it cost to park… the taking or not taking the kids.. very wearing!!! No wonder why I am sick…. It has all caught up with me…

Mum R and Shirley called today to see how we were doing… Granny also called she is worried… and she was not feeling well today either… she really needs to go out and get some bread etc I wish I was feeling better I could take her out and help her!!!… Les came over and mowed our lawn today too… Melanie brought some tuna mornay over for dinner…. I had just come home from getting new tyres on the care and picking up Izra… I jumped up and was on adrenaline when she came in because Izra opened the door to her… I didn’t look sick at all I don’t think… well not compared to last night!!! Not that she saw me last night… but sometimes I feel guilty that I have to ask for help… I feel like such a burden to people!!! Like yeah sure I can do things all by myself… it’s that dam independent streak in me… but I feel like I have to justify myself or prove to people that I really am in dire need…. What is it with that? Will I ever get over that?

I just had a thought… that I haven’t really shared very much of myself with this ward… maybe that is why I feel a little like I burden people… perhaps that is something that is a little selfish on my part… All the other wards I have been in I have born my testimony a lot and people have known my heart and thoughts and that I have a testimony… so here’s a challenge… this Sunday I think I need to bare my testimony… I need to repent… I need to open up a little and not be so guarded… and forget about crying and being upset etc… ( I did bare my teatimony and it felt good)